I am convinced that falling in Love with Jesus and living everyday in and through that love is the key to the spiritual life.
It has taken years for me to realize that being close to Jesus is not about checking off boxes on my “to do” list of daily prayer or inserting the right number of prayers in God’s vending machine every day. The things I was taught in my Catholic upbringing caused me to put many expectations on myself about what I needed to do to make sure I could consider myself a “marginal” or maybe even a “good” Catholic.
My understanding of prayer changed over time with hours of spiritual direction. Then, a truly significant shift in my prayer and relationship with Jesus occurred when I spent a year praying through the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. I was so touched that I dedicated a year of my life being trained to lead others through the retreat-like experience of the exercises. What I learned through that two-year experience has caused me to look at life from a different perspective. On a good day, I am striving to see the world around me from God’s perspective of all love. On a bad day, I strive even more for that perspective and ask for God’s grace to shower upon me no matter what is happening.
I came to see the expectations that made up my prayer life were not of God. Instead, they were constructs of my own mind, inspired by the adversary and a barrier to connections with God. Jesus wanted my heart and was beckoning me ever closer to a relationship centered on love. On one day in prayer, I found myself on a hillside walking along a rocky path with Jesus in front of me. I became aware of a collar around my neck and a leash pulling me forward and restricting my ability to breathe. I looked up at Jesus, who had stopped and was looking at me with eyes rich in love. He extended his hand, and suddenly the collar released its tight grasp and fell to the ground. I looked down at the collar, laying on the dirt path, and recognized it as duty and obligation to fulfill requirements in prayer. My eyes lifted to Jesus, and I heard him say, “come and walk beside me in love.” I accepted the invitation and have never looked back.
Prayer really is a conversation between God, who loves with an everlasting love, and us, His beloved children. May you experience God’s love in the simple and the grand this day.
Comments